I would hate to be immortal

I'd rather die for a cause 
than live a life that is worthless

Live a life worth remembering

I'm not crazy

My reality is just different from yours

I would've taken a   b u l l e t   for you

Now I'm ready to pull the   t r i g g e r

I don't wanna ruin your life
'Cause I don't know you

But you didn't know me
And you ruined my life

How ever this turns out
Everyone loses

People say that they don't believe in soulmates.
It's because they don't want to.
They want their own soul, not a half of a one.

Do you know why I need a soulmate?
Because my soul is too damn heavy to carry on my own.

I don't wish for my own.
I want you to fill it.
Make me whole.

If you don't want to share it..
..Take it all.
Then I don't need it.
Not without you.

It's bullshit to think of friendship and romance as being different. 

They're not. 

They're just variations of the same love. 

Variations of the same desire to be close.

I had this dream.

We were walking along the beach.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from your life.

For each scene, there was two sets of footprints in the sand - one belonging to you and one to me.

You looked back at the footprints in the sand.
You noticed that at many times along the path of your life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

You wondered:
"You said once I decided to be with you, you'd walk with me all the way - but I noticed that during the saddest and the most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you the most, you would leave me."

I replied:
"I love you. I would never ever leave you. When you saw only one set of footprints - it was when I carried you."

I   d o n ' t   h a t e 

I   l o a t h e 

It's no use going back to yesterday

I was a different person then

When I lost you
I lost my mind

When I got you
I felt alive

Never thought I'd be truly fine

Feel the love
Love so kind

"What's the worst thing that could ever happen to you?"

Does it matter?
It already happened

"How are you?"

F   I   N   E  

sinking

"How are you really?"

O   K   A   Y

losing

"Really?"

Y   E   S

dying

You fear something 'cause you fear death

I fear everything 'cause I fear you dying

It's a far off, impossible fear

But I don't want you to ever leave me

Selfish

I know

I'd like to start painting.

I can't paint at all.

Can you

See
A lot of
Various
Exits

My
Endings

?

What if I fall in love with you 
the right wrong way?

I've never met
anyone like you

I've never loved
or felt so true

It's not the same
'cause you're wild and blue

I lost the game
I gave up for you

I was never okay
Not before or after things happened

I was never fine
Because my life ended when I lost the one I loved the most

But I can live and I want to live

There are times when things get harder

I'll tell you when I can't cope alone

It's okay
empty stare

You can go
empty stare

I'll be fine
empty stare

I mean it, but you don't believe it

Because of my empty stare

I love you
But why do you love me?

I need you
But why do you need me?

D o    y o u   ?

I want you
But why would you want me?

No one wants me
I don't want me

N o t    a n y m o r e

I told you I was hurt
B l e e d i n g   o n   t h e   i n s i d e
I told you I was lost
I n   t h e   m i d d l e   o f   m y   l i f e

I've always been kinda obsessed with Alice in Wonderland ❤

I know where I'm supposed to be
I know where I stay sane
I really don't see all the glee
I just feel the pain

I'd rather be dead than dying.

This is not my home
Not anymore

This is where I feel
Rotten to my core

It never should've happened
Dirty fucking whore

I shouldn't blame myself
Then, now, at all

I learned to feel good
Before you wrecked me
Now I just feel used
Like no one can save me

Filthy
Guilty
Kill me

Racing beat
Shivers
Lack of breath
Sickness
Dizzyness
Blaming
Pity
Headache
Emptyness
Stop it
Stop

Kiss me on the mouth and set me free
But please, don't bite

I just want to live.

Sometimes people should just keep quiet.

Sometimes I should really really keep quiet.

If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to hold me down
I would change my direction
And save myself before I --
If I needed someone to control me
If I needed someone to push me around
I would change my direction
And save myself before I 
D      R      O      W      N

It's really important to know
who's there for you
really
unconditionally
always

MaDneSS.
SaDneSS --

I'm intoxicated and in

a) love
b) grave

One thing I appreciate in this world is rock 'n roll.

Hard rock.
Glam rock.
Rock.
Honest rock.
Just pure rock.

Also rock 'n roll lifestyle.Why can't I live like that?

I feel kinda sad.

Sometimes you just gotta 

J    U    M    P

You don't have the power to upset me.
You don't matter enough to upset me.

I don't blame anyone
I'm   j u s t   s a y i n g

<3

Apathy


N e g l e c t

D e t a c h m e n t

Apathy stole the best of me

What the hell was I fighting for
I wonder at night

I'm broken, shattered and torn apart.

Upstairs neighbors are most definitely playing  J U M A N J I

I never thought I'd be hitchhiking.
Okay, I have thought about it, but I would've never done that alone.

I don't recommend hitchhiking.

But we had SO much fun and we were SO lucky!
It was fucking awesome!


I still don't recommend hitchhiking.

I'm proud of America.

P R I D E !

Can the rest of the world follow?

Being in love is so hard.
I think.
I'm not sure if I've ever been in love.
Fell in love.

I kinda wish I'd fall in love.
I'm not trying, but I'm waiting.

I do love people.
Friends.
Family.
♥♥

But it's not really the same.
Actually not at all.

The closest I've been to loving is a soulmate.

When your feelings are twisting and turning.
Jekyll and Hyde.

People are trying tell me, that I'm going to hell.
I think so too, but you don't need to remind me all the time.
I'm fine with that.

Actually, I don't even know if I believe in heaven or hell.
At least not heaven.
Or I don't know.

Please, the church of "our" Lord Jesus Christ, stop calling me.
And texting me.

Thanks.

Don't you think it's so sad, 
when you're pouring your eyes out while watching a movie, 
but you're not crying because of that movie.

Maybe you aren't loved widely
But you are loved deeply

I'm not afraid to say I love you
any more than I used to be, babe
I am scared to death, I am scared to death
to fall in love
with you

Well..

Everything was perfect yesterday.


Today - it's all hell.

All hell breaking loose.

All problems breaking loose.

Everything's becoming unsolved.

Everything's getting complicated.

Everyone's losing their mind.

Everyone's getting tired.

Future is shaky.


We're unstable.

Oh girl, we are the same
We are young and lost and so afraid
There's no cure for the pain
No shelter from the rain
All our prayers seems to fail

This is something I only used to dream of.
I'm excited.
I'm nervous.

I hope I won't be disappointed.
I'm wanting.
I'm waiting.

It's not up to me anymore.
It's up to her.
It's up to us.

I do know why you're jealous.

I know what I have.

I would be jealous too.

It's not my problem that you don't have it like me.

I understand why you're jealous.

But don't take it out on me.

I'm tired of other people telling me
How  I  f e e l
How  I  t h i n k
What  I  d o
What  I  d i d
Who  I  l o v e
Who  I  h a t e

You don't know me
And you most definitely are not me

I feel very insecure, very often.

I need reassurance - and want reassuring too much and too often.

I'm not perfect. No one is.
But I'm not even close to tolerable.

I'm not confident.
I'm troubled, uneasy, confusing and complicated.

I've tried to change for the people I love, but it's just part of my basic character to be annoying.

I've had trust issues lately.

I used to trust people more.
Now I don't know what/who is really there for me.

No one?
Everyone?
Anyone?

They say love is just a feeling,
but this is something more. Girl you got me flying', 
higher than ever before.

I've tried not to lose myself

Been through heaven been through hell

Through all that I came back to tell

If I had a chance to do it again

I'd know that you were heaven sent

I'd keep you by my side my friend